10 Hilariously Awkward Breastfeeding Stories

February 16, 2017

Breastfeeding is truly an incredible thing. The fact that a mom can nourish and grow her baby entirely from her own body is amazing. But let’s face it, breastfeeding can also be hilarious, awkward, and downright silly.

So we asked our moms to share the funniest breastfeeding stories. Because if anyone needs a good laugh, it’s breastfeeding mamas. Check out 10 of our favorite sleep-induced mishaps and funny stories:

The Boob Monger + His Brother

“I have twin boys, one of whom is a total boob monger. I was tandem feeding and they both fell asleep. Apparently my boob man wasn’t done because he then tried to latch onto his brother’s head in his sleep. His brother had the most priceless look on his face, like ‘Dude. No. That’s my head.’” — Margot C.

The Runaway Dog

“While sitting on the couch pumping, my dog came over to sit on my lap. He got his head tangled up in the pump tubing, got scared and took off running, pulling my pump off my breasts and running through the house with the pump parts around his neck and spilling the milk everywhere. I laugh about it now but was super upset when it happened.” – Brittney S.R.

The Sprinkler Effect

“When I started breastfeeding with my first born, my milk came in with a bang, and I did not expect it. I was sitting in the hospital bed four days after he was born, preparing to pump, when my husband came in and sat in front of me with lunch. I started to self express (which I do every time before I pump), and at first I don’t even get a drop, so I think hmm maybe I’m not using enough pressure. Then I used more pressure and milk squirted out in 4 different directions, at least 3 feet, and right in my husband’s eye. I’m dying laughing, but freaking out too because now it’s like the floodgates have opened and milk is leaking everywhere. What’s more, my poor husband is in the bathroom freaking out, because he doesn’t know if breast milk is bad for your eyes and if he will be ok. I called the nurse in and she started laughing but assured my husband breast milk would not hurt his eye. It was an interesting experience for sure!” — Alyssa G.

The Autocorrect

“My phone kept autocorrecting ‘nursing’ to ‘murdering’ for some unknown reason. So I was telling people often that I just had to finish murdering the baby quick.” — J. (Disclaimer: No babies were harmed in the making of this blog! ?)

The Traffic Stop

“I would pump on the way to work (fully covered and buckled up) and got stopped for speeding (only 3 over the limit) the officer let me go with a warning. He was more embarrassed than me!” — Stacie G.

The Cereal Enthusiast

“When my daughter was about 10 months old, I would give her handfuls of Cheerios to snack on at her leisure. One day, she was snacking on her Cheerios, crawled over to me and wanted her ‘nunnies.’ I picked her up and latched her on. Not even 2 minutes into nursing, she slid her hand up, opened her mouth, slid a Cheerio in her mouth and went right on back to nursing. Apparently, she wanted some milk with her cereal!” — Autumn C.

The Furry Friend

“In one of the early weeks, my baby was sleeping in his bassinet next to our bed. In the middle of the night, I heard him fussing so I pulled him close to latch him. But he wouldn’t latch. And then I was really puzzled by how much hair he had. Took quite a while to realize I was trying to breastfeed the cat.” — Rachel E.M.

The Man Boob

“When my daughter was little, her dad – who was shirtless – laid her on his chest. She latched onto him so quickly. I’ve never seen someone more terrified in their life!” — Kayleigh M.

The Ear Worm

“My little man was feeding in the middle of the night, and I was trying to help him re-latch. I was wondering why he wasn’t latching when I noticed I was trying to stick my nipple in his ear.” — Larissa T.M.

The Giggles

“It was one of those middle of the night, half asleep (both of us) nursing sessions. I was leaning back on a stack of pillows and he was draped across me, belly to belly, and sleepily nursing. He must have dozed for a second because he lost his latch and made this funny popping/suction sound. It startled him and I tried to stifle a giggle and suddenly he pops his little head up and looks at me stunned, then giggled. That, of course, made me giggle, and before you know it we were in a full-blown giggle fit. We ended up waking up my very confused husband, which just made us laugh more. It lasted 5 or more minutes and we both did that little sigh at the end of a good laugh. He nursed a bit longer and fell asleep. It’s one of my favorite memories.” – Sol C.D.

Want more funny breastfeeding stories? Check out the rest of the comments from moms. What’s your funniest breastfeeding story? Share in the comments below.

5 thoughts on “10 Hilariously Awkward Breastfeeding Stories

  1. One evening my husband and I were laying in bed. I Sat up to nurse my newborn. Now I was a New mommy and hadn’t quite gotten the hang of breastfeeding and my hubby decided he wanted to video tape a feed because it was so natural abd beautiful . Baby girl was super fussy an not latching properly she got increasingly more agitated with daddy pointing a camera at her and all of a sudden my milk just start a shooting into her mouth an choking her as I put her down an grab for a towel I spray hubby right in the face. He is now petrified of me (we are on baby number two) and refuses to get to close while I’m nursing.

  2. Another one of those late night half asleep nursing sessions, we were in the recliner and I guess we both dozed of just a little bit when I woke up a few minutes later my 3 week old had been trying to rematch and sucked 3 dime sized hickies on the side of my boob while trying to find the nipple ?? I could barely explain it to my husband for laughing so hard when I went back to bed!

  3. Hahaha! These are great. I’ve heard some funny stories from mothers who visit me with their infants for dental appointments or frenectomies but none as funny as the Cheerio story here.

  4. Hello just had my first baby. I got up in the middle of the night I thought my baby had detached herself and I got to get up she grabbed my other nipple and was swinging in the air I slowly put her down. grip like a tiger. I went to the bathroom burst out laughing while my husband asked what was wrong ?

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